So What's a LAN Party Anyways?
by Fargo @ LanParty.com

  In brief, a LAN Party is a gathering of people who all bring their computers, play video games together on a network, and eat nachos. The first thing people (usually parents or spouses) immediately ask is: Why would you want to do that? A computer is an expensive (and heavy) piece of precision electronics, one whose performance is negatively impacted by the accidental introduction of nacho cheese in the open CD-Rom drawer. But the fact is, a LAN Party is the most fun you can have with your machine. (Aside from surfing dirty pictures on the net.)

You're Joking, Right?

  No, really. Let's assume that you're a computer gamer and you're playing against somebody in a vicious game of deathmatch. You just lept out of a shadow, jumped down behind him, ducked an incoming rocket, and removed his head with a double-barreled shotgun.

  To celebrate your victory at a LAN party, you'd:

• savor the expression of anguish on his face

• leap up and scream, "Suck it down, monkeyboy!"

• high-five your teammates

• sing a rousing chorus of, "Who's yo daddy?"

• announce that he couldn't kill you if you were on life support

• begin the smack talk for the inevitable rematch

Now let's assume you were at home alone playing on the Internet. You'd celebrate your amazing victory in the following ways:

• Checking your e-mail

• Going to the Bathroom

• Turning up the stereo really loud

• Doing the snoopy dance with your dog/cat

  It's like the difference between going to a hockey game or watching one on TV. Sure, you can see it all happen on the screen -- but there's nothing like being there in person and hoping to catch a tooth.

LAN: The Ultimate Defense Against LAG

  Another advantage of playing games at a LAN party is the LAN itself, which stands for "Local Area Network." As opposed to the Internet, which stands for "Really really big area network slowed down by people actually trying to do productive things like research."

  When you play games on a LAN, you're usually only a few feet from the server. When you and your friends shoot a really big gun, it fires instantly, preferably while it's still pointed at the stunned face of someone who deserves it. It's intense! Whereas when you play games over the Internet using a modem, you will often have time to catch a rerun of Seinfeld between the time when you fire your weapon and the time it eventually makes its way to the intended target, who by this time has had kids and moved to Jersey.

  Anyone who can compare the two will agree that playing over the net can never compete with the adrenaline of playing on a local network.

So Where do I Find these Parties?

  Well, for starters, right here! Of course, the other option is to have a party of your own. A small party is easy to put together and tons more fun than most other weekend entertainment options, such as mowing the lawn or watching Cinemax in your underwear. 

  LAN or bust, baby!